


so keep your blood in your head (and your feet on the ground)

by noselick (16and18)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Asthma, Asthmatic Harry, Hospitals, I'm Sorry, M/M, Minor Violence, Sad Ending, THATS AN ACTUAL TAG LMAO, idk how to tag this, its a punch but, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 10:45:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3975190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/16and18/pseuds/noselick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just a dare.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Louis and Harry have a race while Liam and Niall watch on. Harry gets an asthma attack. It spirals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so keep your blood in your head (and your feet on the ground)

**Author's Note:**

> this was typed out on my phone when jadzia sent me a dm telling me to write it. im so sorry.  
> thank you, michelle, for editing it! please message me on twitter (in the end notes) if there are any errors. 
> 
> (title from the quiet things that no one knows by brand new)

It was just a dare.

But suddenly, all in flash, Harry's coughing like crazy, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. The veins on his forehead and neck are pronounced and his face is crimson red. Tears flow down his eyes as he coughs harder and harder. Louis is frozen in his place, sweat dripping down his face from running. All he's doing is staring in shock as Harry is coughing harder and harder, his voice strained and tears endlessly running from his eyes from the pain.

"Louis!"

Louis snaps out of his shock as Niall screams his name from the bleachers where him and Liam are watching.

Niall is running and helping Harry lay down. Liam flips out his phone and starts calling 911, his voice shaky and nervous. Louis runs over to Niall, who's already pushing Harry's chest, performing CPR.

"Niall," Louis finally says, pulling Harry's long hair back from his face. "Do— do you even know how to perform CPR?"

"Come on, Haz," Niall whispers as he continues pushing his chest. He turns to Louis. "He— he's having an asthma attack. He needs—fuck—he needs a nebulizer but—fucking hell—we don't have one so I'm giving him CPR."

Niall is crying and pushing Harry's chest as Louis whispers reassuring things into Harry's ear. Harry is still crying, his whole head is red and the tears haven't stopped. Louis is crying just as much now. _It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault_.

Liam runs over, phone in hand. "They're coming. Oh my god, he looks horrible."

Niall keeps pushing and they're all a nervous mess as they hear sirens pull up at the football field. 

There are four paramedics running out of the ambulance with two carrying a gurney and one carrying a nebulizer. They rush over to Harry, who's still coughing up his lungs. Louis, Niall and Liam back up.

It feels like a rush— their hands are all around Harry and their mouths are spitting medical jargon that Louis can't understand.

"Fuck," one of the paramedics says under his breath as he feels over Harry's chest. "Who touched him over his chest area?"

"That would be me," Niall says, his voice unusually high.

The paramedic looks at him, anger evident in his face. "Do you not know how to do CPR?! His lung is punctured from the pressure!"

"We need to get him to the hospital, fast!" he screams at his companions and they bring him up on the gurney and rush him back on ambulance. Liam, Niall and Louis follow.

"We can't have all of you in here," one of the other paramedics with bleach blonde hair pulled into a bun says. "We can fit in two at most."

"Louis, Niall," Liam says quickly, turning to the both of them. "You guys go. I'll take the car and meet you there."

Louis and Niall nod and hop into the ambulance. the blonde-haired paramedic closes the door as Liam runs off to the parking lot.

They finish hooking up all sorts of things into Harry's body, and Louis starts crying again. His boy— his beautiful boy. His skin is pale and he's no longer coughing. His chest is staggering with every breath he takes.

They're silent most of the trip to the hospital, except for the steady drip in one of the bags Harry's hooked up to.

Louis starts crying harder.

 

* * *

 

Louis and Niall run behind the paramedics into the ER, but once Harry disappears behind another set of doors—they're stopped.

"I'm sorry sirs but you're not allowed to proceed," a nurse with dark skin and dark curls says to them, clipboard in hand. 

"I'm his boyfriend, I should be in there with him!" Louis screams. 

"Lou," Niall starts, pulling Louis back. "We should lis—"

"Shut up, Niall!" Louis shouts out, shaking Niall's hands off his arms and turning around to face him. He feels fire in his gut and poison in his mouth. " _This is your fault_. This is your fault for giving him CPR when you don't know _shit_ about CPR!"

Niall's face is filled with hurt, his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw slacked. Louis is too angry to notice.

"I—I was just trying to help," Niall says, his voice soft and hurt. He's crying at this point.

"His _lungs_ are _punctured_. His lungs are fucking punctured thanks to _you_!" Louis screams. everyone in the waiting room is looking at them.

"What did you expect me to do?!" Niall shouts, his voice echoing in the room. "He was just _there_ , coughing his lungs up and you were.... you were doing _nothing_ you fucking _bastard!_ "

Then, Louis punches Niall.

Louis sees it in slow motion—his closed fist connecting with Niall's jaw. he sees Niall's head throw back from the pressure.

The hospital crew intervene, the security guards separating the two of them. Niall is taken to a separate room and Louis is thrown out of the hospital.

As he sits on the edge of the sidewalk just in front of the hospital, Liam pulls up.

"Lou?" he says as he gets out of the car. "What're you doing outside? Where's Niall and Harry?"

Louis looks to the ground. "Harry's in the ER. They...they won't let me in. Niall is..."

"Niall is...?" Liam continues, motioning Louis to continue.

"I...I might've punched....Niall. And got kicked out of the hospital."

It takes a moment for Liam to register the information. Then, he slaps Louis.

"What the fuck?" Louis says, rubbing his cheek. "What was that for?!"

Liam sits down beside him. "You're such a fucking idiot. Niall? You fucking punched _Niall?_ "

"It's his fault," Louis states flatly. "It's _his_ fault Harry has a punctured lung, it's _his_ fault that Harry's in the ER, it's _his_ fault that we're in this _fucking_ mess."

Liam wipes his face in frustration. They're silent for a while. The street lamp in front of them flickers on and off. On and off. On and off.

Then, Liam stands up.

"Where you going?" Louis asks.

"I'm going to fix this fucking shithole you got us in. You're not coming with me, since that's not an option. Stay in the car." Liam gives the car key to Louis and walks into the hospital.

Louis stands up, dusts himself off and gets in the car. He gets it warm and toasty and drives to the nearest convenience store. Fuck whatever Liam says.

 

* * *

 

Just as he finishes his slurpee in the car, his phone buzzes in his pocket.

Niall's name shows up on the call screen. Louis reluctantly accepts it.

"What's up?" Louis answers, his voice monotone.

It's... _oh my god_ just come here as fast as you can. It's—oh my god—it's _Harry_." Niall's voice is barely audible, muffled by tears and sniffles.

Louis has never driven so fast in his life.

 

* * *

 

"I'm Harry Styles' boyfriend, please let me in this time," Louis pleads to the nurse at the reception. Her rehearsed smile drops as Louis says "Harry Styles".

"Room 1419. It's much quicker if you take the last elevator on the left," she says, her voice obviously pained.

"Thank you," Louis mumbles as he runs to the elevator. 

As it arrives on the 14th floor, Louis rushes through flurries of nurses and doctors on the floor, running to room 1419.

As soon as he sees 1419, he rushes into the room, gasping for air as he pushes through the crowd of nurses and doctors.

"Harry—Harry," Louis says as he finally gets to the inner circle of the crowd.

His heart drops as he sees Liam bent on the side of the bed, head buried in his arms as his chest heaves for air. His vision goes to Harry, long brown hair spread out over the white pillow, tubes and wires going through various parts of his body. his eyes are closed and his skin is looking milkier than ever.

He glances to the doctors and nurses, who are all bending their heads.

" _No_ ," he croaks out, his voice breaking. "No, no, no, no."

Louis runs to the side of the bed, just opposite of Liam, who hasn't moved.

"Doctor," he says, looking towards the man dressed in a white coat and blue scrubs. "Please tell me he..."

"I'm...I'm sorry, Mr Tomlinson—" the doctor starts, looking louis in the eye. "We did—"

"No!" Louis screams, his voice shrilly and high. "Don't give me that ' _we did our best_ ' bullshit! Please, _please_ don't tell me that the love of my life is dead!"

They're all silent now. "We'll give you...some time, Mr Tomlinson." They all shuffle out of the room in silence.

Louis starts crying now, harder than before. He can feel his heart physically break into pieces.

"Harry, Harry," he spits out, his voice cracking with every syllable. "Please don't leave me, please. Please stay with me. I can't do this without you, please!"

Louis shakily grabs a black velvet box from his pocket. His hands are shaking as he struggles to get it on Harry's ring finger. 

"Will—will you marry me, Harry? Please— _please_ don't be dead, say yes, come on," Louis says, trying to grin. The tears are clouding his eyes. "We'll have everything we dreamed of, yeah? We'll have two kids—or more—and we'll live in a big house, yeah? You'll cook and I'll, _fuck_ , I'll teach them how to play Fifa. Just like we planned, yeah?"

The room is entirely silent. Liam has stopped crying but is still hiding his face in the hospital bed.

Something inside Louis snaps. " _Say yes, goddamn it_!"

He's hunched over Harry's lifeless body, breathing in whatever scent that's still on him. He's crying—he's crying so much. His sobs fill the room and they flood the room.

He stays like that for a while. It hurts.

 

* * *

 

Louis remembers the funeral well. He remembers the medical staff eventually having to pry his body off Harry's, no matter how much he protested. He eventually made up with Niall. They all stay together for a while, living in Louis and Harry's flat. They all needed each other for the first few months.

Then, they started getting back on track again. Liam was the first to start going back out, working and moving out of the flat.

It took much longer for Niall and Louis. There were nights where they thought they were okay, but then there were nights where they started shouting at each other—never really forgiving each other for what happened. There are permanent scars in their hearts.

Eventually, Niall moved out, promising he would call every night in case Louis needed him. They realized they all lived on each other like a lifeline.

One year after, it still hurts.

They buried Harry with the ring Louis put on him that night. Louis wears the matching pair every day. He doesn't forget.

 

He never forgets.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @wellingtoncurse


End file.
